It’s time to stop being friends.

By Emma Stephens

God brings people into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime– a saying I have heard time and time again throughout my life.

I’d never really understood what this meant until I was in college. I met a girl through a club I was involved in that I became friends with pretty fast. We did absolutely everything together and were pretty much inseparable and she pushed me in my faith and life.

But one year, when we came back from summer vacation, I could tell something was off. Things weren’t quite picking up where they left off as I had expected them to. When we did hang out, I always felt like something was wrong or like I had done something wrong, and honestly like she didn’t even want to be there. It caused a lot of stress for me and I began to internalize all of these feelings of anxiety about our friendship.

I felt like I was walking down a one way street of friendship. I was giving so much to the friendship and was really trying, yet wasn’t getting anything in return. I started to lose sleep over it, and even worse, started to resent the friend.

It was no longer a fruitful relationship. 

When you’re faced with a friendship that leaves you feeling drained emotionally and mentally, and that’s causing more negative feelings than positive feelings, it’s either time to readjust the friendship or walk away.

You need to take it to the Father in prayer. Ask for His guidance. There were countless nights I prayed for help or that I sat in silence at adoration and let Him work through me.

The prayer can be as simple as, “Lord help point me in the direction and make the path clear for what I should do in this friendship. Help me to know that You will never lead me astray, and to trust in Your goodness.”

I felt called to give the friendship one last go and to express (kindly) to the friend my feelings. We met for dinner, and I shared with her how I felt. I left the evening not feeling like the friendship had been repaired, but instead feeling like I had peace and closure in our friendship ending.

I knew that had I continued on with the friendship, it would get in the way with my relationship with the Lord. He was closing that door and leading me closer to Him.

God places people in our life sometimes for a reason, and a season, this particular friend was there for me for when I felt alone and truly picked me up by the bootstraps and led me to the Lord. Once she had done the job the Lord set out for her to do, it was time for Him to close that door and open another one. I am at peace, knowing that He showed me the way. I wish the friend nothing but the best and will continue to have feelings of gratitude for her being there at that time.

It may be hard, and you may not know why things are unfolding the way they are, but trusting in God’s plan is absolutely so rewarding. Closing the door to that friendship pushed me to grow.