By Kendal Huntsman
Pornography is a battle to fight, but life is an adventure to live, and the human body is a beauty to rescue.
Time to go back to where it all started: the Garden of Eden.
Needless to say, the story doesn’t go all too well. Adam and Eve both failed each other in the garden. Adam was standing right there with Eve while the serpent was tempting her, but he failed in his duty to protect and guide his wife in that moment.
“Our first father, the first real man, gave in to paralysis. He denied his very nature and went passive.”
Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldredge
That’s exactly what porn does to men. Pornography makes men passive; it deceives them into feeling like real men without requiring anything from them.
However, this is not a blame game on Adam because we cannot neglect the fact that Eve also failed in her design. And likewise, porn is not just man’s struggle.
Eve is given to Adam as “helper,” “helpmate,” or even “lifesaver.” Eve had a duty to her husband to protect him too, but Eve was deceived by the serpent causing both her and her husband to fall victim to temptation. After this original deception and sin, every daughter of Eve wants to control her surroundings, her relationships, and her God. Women are no longer able to be vulnerable. Women put up walls out of fear that they are not good enough and that no one will speak up on their behalf or fight to protect them. Because of Original Sin, women in the world today believe that they are on their own. Women either hide in fear and fall into loneliness or they use their beauty to secure their place in the world and take on a controlling and overly independent role. Women believe that men will not do what they were made to be for women, so they convince themselves that they don’t need men and can do everything without men.
Men and women alike have convinced themselves that all desires, even sexual desires, can be satisfied by porn, masturbation, and the casual sex culture.
God, however, did not give up on Adam and Eve after they committed Original Sin and left the Garden of Eden. God gave both Adam and Eve an adventure to sustain life together.
Men and women are both made in the image and likeness of God, and they are made for an adventure to share together, a battle to fight together side by side. Original Sin, however, had direct consequences that greatly damaged Adam and Eve’s relationship with God and with one another. Men and women became enemies in that moment rather than allies. But don’t be deceived by that outward appearance of independence! Don’t fall deeper into the lie that men and women are enemies, because both men and women still want that original adventure given by God. God gave the adventure of LIFE to man and woman. It is an adventure to live and an adventure to be shared together.
It’s 2020, and I don’t know a single woman who sees herself as a damsel in distress looking for a prince in shining armor to come to her rescue. However, women do truly want their hearts to be rescued from the lie that good men don’t exist. Women want to be freed from the tower of isolation and the years of hurt, anger, and confusion. Women want to know that they are delighted in and seen as beautiful inside and out. Women want their hearts to be cared for – not just for a few months but for a lifetime.
Likewise, men yearn for the adventure of rescuing women. It is part of the masculine nature to be protectors. It’s 2020, so maybe putting on a suit of armor and rescuing a princess from a tower isn’t very realistic. However, there are countless opportunities to rescue women from the lie that good men don’t exist. Every action, both big and small, is an opportunity to be a witness to true masculinity. Be bold in action and don’t give in to the passivity that Adam fell for.
Pornography is lust incarnated and broadcasted for your viewing pleasure. It is a tempting pleasure for both men and women, but it leaves the human heart empty and dissatisfied. All sin is missing the mark; in sin we fall short and deny ourselves of what we were made for – which is all that is true, good, and beautiful.
Men, you are a fallen son of Adam.
Women, you are a fallen daughter of Eve.
But you both are also REDEEMED SON’S & DAUGHTERS OF GOD who suffered and died for you! Where our earthly fathers and mothers may have failed, God never does.
Men, powerful sons of God, on behalf of every man or woman who has ever hurt you, I am sorry. I am so sorry if no man ever showed you how to be a man, but I urge you to ask God your Heavenly Father to show you how to boldly step out of the shadows, claim your identity as His son, and kick the vice of porn to the curb. Your future family (either in the married or religious life) and the future of mankind depends on it!
Women, beautiful beloved daughters of the Lord, on behalf of every man or woman who has ever hurt you, I am sorry. I am so sorry for all your experiences that have ever torn away at your sense of beauty or worth, but here is something I learned recently that changed my perspective on how women can help men in the fight against pornography. Femininity cannot bestow masculinity, so if you have a husband, boyfriend, brother or friend who opened up to you about a struggle with purity, pray for him and encourage him to seek out other men to hold him accountable. They cannot receive that strength and advice of masculinity from you; they need it from fellow men. And likewise, for you, seek out strength and advice on purity from your fellow sisters in Christ.
Temptation often comes in silence, boredom, and idleness. However, when you are tempted by the devil to sin, instead of just praying for the temptation to go away, offer up your struggle in the temptation for the conversion of sinners. In doing this, you recognize your own weakness and acknowledge that you are a sinner in need of God’s mercy.
“Offer your temptations for the conversion of sinners. When the devil sees you doing this, he is beside himself with rage and makes off because then the temptation is turned against himself.”
St. Jean Baptiste Marie Vianney
This is an incredibly powerful way to triumph over satan. You can turn what satan intended for evil and make it into something good that glorifies the Lord! You can turn a temptation into a prayer, not just for yourself but for another.
For a long time, I had let my desires go unchecked. I became addicted. I became a slave held captive by the chains of sin. However, God gave us the incredible gift of free will. This gift enables me to say no to sin. It doesn’t leave room for excuses. Whenever I simply said, “God, please help me,” the devil would flee temporarily but come back even more determined to ensnare me in another trap. Because I’ve seen so many impure things from movies, television, YouTube etc. I can’t ever get those images out of my head. I will probably be taunted with those images by satan for the rest of my life. However, now my best defense to remain pure with my body, eyes, and mind is to say, “I offer up this temptation for the conversion of sinners” and the temptation stops for me.
Thankfully, in December of 2015 I began praying the Rosary daily and haven’t missed a day since. As I pray the Rosary, Mother Mary has held my hand throughout the entire struggle and guided me back to purity. How amazing is it that the most pure woman ever created can help guide us back to purity in our own hearts and minds?
So, here is my challenge to you: The next time the devil tempts you, offer it up as a prayer. Say boldly: “I offer up my temptation for the conversion of sinners.”
Remember that you hold the power of freedom. Don’t let sin hold you captive. You are worth so much more and deserve so much more than a few mere moments of pleasure. You are a beloved child of God, and you deserve an eternity of joy both on this earth and in heaven.
Here is a list of helpful resources to keep you accountable in your journey of purity:
1. rTribe Counseling & Community
2. Victory
3. Covenant Eyes
4. NF Companion – Beat Porn Addiction
5. X3Watch
6. Ever Accountable
Born Dignified 