Tag: Women

Authentic Femininity

Authentic Femininity

Amylia Bult
By Amylia Bult

Let’s talk femininity for a second. I say the word “feminine,” or even “ideal woman” and perhaps two different images come to mind for most people.

Woman 1: CEO, power suit and heels wearing boss of a lady. Her husband has more time with his flexible work schedule to be with the kids, so he’s the one who makes most of the meals, takes them to sports practice, etc. She makes it a priority to be home for dinner each night, tries to make it to most of those sporting events, and makes sure the weekends are as much about family time as possible.

Woman 2: A stay-at-home mom who has 5 kids and makes organic meals from scratch every night. She gardens and bakes and has the occasional crafting adventure. She volunteers on the PTA for her kids and is a carpool mom extraordinaire.

Now let me be clear: there is nothing wrong with either image. I know women who fall into each of these two categories. But the problem comes in when we place femininity as a whole into one side or the other, place one image above the other. Both of them are authentic representations of femininity because God made those women that way. Our identity is not wrapped up in what we do but in who God created us to be.

This is part of the reason why the Church, in her motherly wisdom, reminds her faithful that community is an important aspect of the Christian life. It is so, so important to have others to walk to Jesus with as a support system, accountability, a shoulder to lean on as we carry our crosses this side of heaven. But another unique piece of community is that, if we live it well, not only are we reminded of our own dignity, but we are also shown unique aspects of the Creator through the examples of others living authentically as themselves.

What do I mean by that?

Currently, I am in my late twenties and I am in a women’s group with five other women who are also in their mid-late twenties and early thirties. We all met in a variety of ways, but decided to start our group because being a Catholic and trying to live out a relationship with Jesus can be dang hard. I need other people to pray for me, to pray with me, to look at me and love me when I’m having a rough time, but also to tell me I’m being dumb and to stop doing the dumb things when they get in the way of that relationship with Jesus.

Sometimes when we get together on Monday nights, I’ll look around the room and giggle to myself at the six of us. We have many things in common (mainly that we love Jesus and want to get each other to heaven), but also we couldn’t be more different from each other. Some of us are introverted and internal processors and rely on the others to help us get out of ourselves, be vulnerable, and speak things into the light. Others are extroverted and external processors and need a safe space to process all the things weighing on their hearts. We have different tastes in music, different taste in fashion, different ideas of what is the proper way to put on a necklace (hint: there’s only one way and the rest of them are wrong).

Sacrificial love for one is waking up at 2am and giving up sleep (and sanity) to sit with her crying one-year-old. Sacrificial love for another is giving up her weekends to bring Jesus to the middle school students at her parish. Boldness for one is learning to say “no.” Boldness for another is learning to say “yes.” One woman’s prayer is for the gift of children. Another woman’s prayer is that the babies wait a little while longer. One is so excited about a new job position. Another is excited at the prospect of getting to be at home more with her kids.

I would never look at any of these women and say “oh you don’t fit a mold, therefore you are not feminine enough.” Absolutely not! There is no mold, there never was a mold, so get that out of your brain right now.

These women have taught me that the minute that you (as woman and daughter of our Heavenly Father) ask Him what He wants from you and use your personality, gifts, and talents for Him, and then do it, you’re living out your femininity. And for that lesson, I am forever grateful.

Women Who Struggle With Purity: You Are Not Alone

Women Who Struggle With Purity: You Are Not Alone

Katie Collin

By Katie Collin

In a world that oftentimes promotes sexual promiscuity, it can feel especially lonely and isolating for Catholic women who struggle to live out the virtue of purity. It comes as no surprise that the devil distorts our desires when we try to live out that virtue. My struggle began in middle school with pornography and masturbation, and later involved wrestling with intrusive lustful thoughts and a difficulty viewing others chastely. Whether you are tempted by this or any other sexual sin, you’re not alone. I don’t know your story exactly, but I share in common the loneliness and shame that many women feel when tempted by sins of impurity.

I was exposed to pornography in middle school and sadly my curiosity led me down a rabbit hole. I felt trapped and didn’t tell anyone for five years. I attended Catholic High School, went to church weekly, and enjoyed participating in youth group and many retreats. But I felt so alone, like I was the only one fighting these demons. While at retreats, men’s talks were full of practical resources on how to combat temptations of impurity but women’s talks didn’t address it, making me feel even more helpless. Eventually, I decided to watch some of the men’s talks on YouTube. I felt so alone in my addiction. What made things worse is what people would say about women who struggled with impurity- that they are “disgusting” and “gross.”

I want to pause right here and say that you are not disgusting, and you are not gross— any voice that tells you otherwise is from the Enemy. You are a beautiful, beloved daughter of God. You were worth dying for. If the God who created the universe says this, why should you believe anything else?

Ironically, it wasn’t until I told someone about my struggle with impurity that I truly started to experience freedom. This was the most vulnerable I had ever been. In the fetal position and bawling, I told my friend of my struggles with purity. She looked at me with such love and acceptance- the way I envision Christ looks at us when we come to him. Then she just sat by me. I’m convinced her presence was God being present to me through her. She encouraged me to open up more about my struggles, and I did.

It wasn’t easy but I began to give my witness to others, I went to confession often, I asked people for prayers and advice, and I started to combat my sin with prayer. It was not easy. Shame had its hold on me for years. However, it is truly by the grace of God that I was able to fight this fight. The devil wants us to internalize our struggles, so I did the opposite. I began sharing my experience with people in hopes that they would help me, and as a result, God worked through these friends, and it became easier. I am forever thankful for these people’s prayers.

Was I perfect in my fight? No. But I didn’t stop and I am much closer to freedom, and I now can better control my temptations. Jesus wants us free, that’s why he redeemed us by the cross. Don’t lose sight of that.

Today, I am no longer trapped by sins of impurity. Although, temptations hasn’t totally disappeared, and Satan will occasionally try to tempt me, the devil has no power if we don’t give it to him. When I feel spiritually attacked, I immediately turn to Mary, Our Mother. I reach out to a support group I lead for women who struggle with purity. It is comforting knowing there are other women carrying this cross and knowing that I am not alone.

You are not alone in this fight either.

I encourage you if you struggle with impurity to tell someone you trust. Laying out your sinfulness to others can be one of the hardest things to do, but from that you will start to experience the freedom only God can give. He wants you to bring this into the light. Telling someone you trust provides accountability and prayerful support when you need it. It can be difficult to find resources just for women, but keep looking, even if you wind up utilizing information intended for men. You can cater them to yourself, which is okay. I have listed some resources below. In the end, your efforts will pay off. You can do this! Put your armor on and keep fighting the good fight. I will be praying for you.

Gratitude for the Body You’ve Been Given

Gratitude for the Body You’ve Been Given

Katie Sommers
By Katie Sommers

I have been struggling with body image ever since I was in middle school. It seems like a pretty common issue among young women. Back then, I thought none of the boys liked me because I was “too fat.” (I was nowhere near “fat,” but I came up with this lie about myself, thinking there must have been something wrong with me.) This lie has stuck with me even through college.

I like to think of myself as a pretty positive person, but when it comes to my body, I can be pretty critical. When I look down at my stomach or my calves, I don’t see a beautiful gift from God, or limbs that move at my command—I only see the negatives. I notice that when I look down, I often don’t see good. Rather, I saw fat, faults, and flaws that I regard as pathetic results of my carelessness. Why is it that I easily can point out the beauty in others, but when it comes to myself, I cannot help but pick out the faults?


And to make it all worse, I constantly compare myself to others. When I see someone tall and slender, I suddenly feel short and fat. When I see someone with skinny legs, arms, and abs, I suddenly feel lazy. And the list goes on. Why am I like this? Why can’t I just rejoice in the beauty of others without forgetting my own?

But really— each body is so amazing. Not only is every body unique in so many ways (fingerprints, hair texture, eye color, etc.), but every body is truly a miracle made in the image and likeness of God. Every body has so much potential. When you see a baby, you can see how the baby’s legs are likely going to grow and how the human body is made to get stronger, to stretch, and to transform.


I think if we saw the full potential of our bodies, we could start to see the full potential of our whole selves—our souls, how we spend our time, and our relationships.


Bodies heal themselves, they fight for our health, they can get tan, they give you endorphins, they can sit for hours. Bodies can leap, run, lay, swim, crawl, dance, twist, bend, sit, kick, squat—the possibilities are limitless. Bodies can even be art (i.e. through dance, sports, or makeup), and bodies can even express a language.

I think it really sad how easy it is to misuse our own bodies— whether that be using them to do evil, or doing nothing with them. Either way involves not trying to achieve their full potential to do good.


So many times we neglect our bodies. We find ourselves spending hours idly sitting on our butts, comparing ourselves to people on Instagram. It is so easy to take our bodies for granted. Think about all the people who would love to spend a day with a completely healthy body with all of its parts moving fluently— the elderly who cannot walk any more, the amputees who would love to just walk normally again, etc.

Your body is a gift, so next time you look at your leg and only see fat or some other insecurity, think for a moment about who else in the world would long for functioning legs, or to be young again, or to have the great capacity for healing and cherishing that beautiful instrument.

Deepfake: When the Nudes Aren’t You

Deepfake: When the Nudes Aren’t You

Rebekah Hardy
By Rebekah Hardy

A few years ago, I was sitting at my teacher’s desk while my students took their religion test. I was going back and forth between grading papers and checking my email when suddenly I saw one, then ten, then twenty friend requests come in to my Facebook inbox from men that I didn’t know. I checked my page to see what was going on and if I was getting spammed. When I checked my inbox there were messages… gross ones. 

I didn’t know what I did to bring all of this creepiness into my life. I ignored the messages and just deleted them thinking it was some kind of awful mistake that all of these people were messaging me. The next day I received even more friend requests and then finally a message that made my heart stop. Someone was kind enough to send me screenshots from a couple of popular sites… it was a picture of my face photoshopped onto a naked woman’s body with all my contact information listed. I couldn’t believe it.

I was struck with absolute horror and my stomach turned in disgust that someone would do this to me. I had never taken a naked picture in my life! I felt so shameful knowing that all of these men in my friend requests were looking at a picture of someone who they thought was me. People were lusting after this picture of someone they probably imagined was a consenting adult. I was horrified at the thought that one of my students, my boss, my friends, would come across this and how much damage that would produce- even though it was fake. 

I felt like it was real. The person who sent me the screenshot to me said they were so sorry someone had shared my pictures… but they weren’t even mine. Somewhere in the world, however, there was someone who did take that picture of herself. My heart broke at the thought that she was also being exploited through this. I felt for my poor sister in Christ.

For weeks I would report these pictures and they would be taken down only to pop back up a couple of days later with more raunchy captions. I felt like I wasn’t safe when I would think about the ill-intentioned people who might be on these sites seeing the place I worked next to the naked picture of “me”. I would have nightmares about them showing up at my work and following me through the parking lot. Out of fear for my safety, I told the priest who was my boss at the time about what I was going through. Thanks be to God, he took me under his wing and immediately reached out to the police in our school district to report everything that happened. He told them to keep an eye on me and make sure I was okay- and told me to call him if I ever felt unsafe.

That same day I went to my hometown police station with my dad and received so much kindness and concern from them as well. I got several calls from the lieutenant who took down my story over the following days to ensure that all was well and to give an update of the status of things. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t do this earlier. It was partly out of shame. I was so embarrassed at the thought that they might not believe my story. For fear of being misunderstood or disbelieved, I suffered in silence.

The whole time this was happening, my only consolation was that I knew it wasn’t me. Even if everyone else didn’t know that, at least I did. However, something else was weighing on my mind at the time… I thought of everyone in the world who this actually happens to. Revenge porn is a real thing and I know people who have actually had their real nudes circulated online by an ex or a spiteful friend. To this day, I pray for those men and women. The human body was never made for this.

To all of the women and men who have been lied to and made to believe that sending nudes is a normal thing- I am sorry. To all of the women and men who have been exploited because of nudes they have sent- my heart breaks for you. To all of the people who are reading this and are tempted to judge those who ask for and those who send nudes- don’t. None of us are perfect but all of us can be better.

For anyone who might be feeling pressured to send nudes, I would just like to encourage you and tell you that it isn’t worth it. I promise you that anyone who’s love or attention might be hinging on the requirement that you show them something so personal and sacred as your naked body is not the kind of “love” or attention that you deserve. While that may sound arbitrary, believe me, I know. I have had pressure to do the same thing from people I’ve dated and people who weren’t even looking for a relationship with me. Looking back, I am so thankful that I didn’t give them what they were looking for.

If you’ve sent nudes before and you feel like you can’t turn back now- that’s a lie from Hell. We know from Saint Paul’s Second Letter to the Corinthians that “Whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Cor 5:17). It is never too late to start over when you have Christ. Start today. Let Him make you new. That isn’t you anymore.

Fearless Strength

Fearless Strength

Brigitte Bowman
By Brigitte Bowman

It was a cold October night. I didn’t know what to expect, thinking this night would be the same as every other. My parents happened to be out of town, so it was just the three youngest of six at home, just us sisters. We weren’t scared about being alone together; as far as we knew, we would always keep each other safe. We finally all went to sleep.

So there I was, asleep in my bed. And then I heard a voice from God saying: “Wake up.” My eyes opened to see an unknown man with a mask standing over me.

Read more →
Chivalry Is for Women Too

Chivalry Is for Women Too

Hadley Adair
By Hadley Adair

Valentine’s Day was approaching, and I, being the haughty, single woman I was, had adopted a new motto. I began to tell everyone I encountered: “You know, guys cannot complain about being single on Valentine’s Day. That’s all on them.” This phrase led to my reasoning that if they want a girlfriend, then they have the freedom to ask a girl out, but us poor women are simply maidens in waiting. Poor us, striving for authentic, Christ-centered relationships, yet living in a time when chivalry is far gone. I had reduced my vocation to the mere passivity of waiting to receive, while at the same time demanding of men immediate and heroic action.

Read more →
Ummm… Youth Group?

Ummm… Youth Group?

Erin Upp
By Erin Upp

I would be lying if I said I’ve always loved youth ministry; in fact, there was a period in my life when I didn’t even like youth ministry.  Read more →

Our Worth: In Our Eyes vs. The Eyes of the Creator

Our Worth: In Our Eyes vs. The Eyes of the Creator

Amelia Harman
By Amelia Harman

Think about God as a sculptor. As a sculptor, he begins with this amazing idea. He begins to dig deeper into this idea, forming aspects and qualities of this piece of work. He spends days upon days sculpting every single detail to perfection, before he finally sits back and admires his work of art. He loves it. He adores it. He thinks it is his greatest masterpiece of all creation. He knows it is worthy enough to be presented to the world. He wouldn’t send out an unworthy or unfinished work of art to the world.

Read more →